Torn

I sit here in my RV thinking about the last year and how quickly it past bye. Tomorrow I am supposed to start flying for a new company on Fort Rucker call DOSS. As soon as I start flying with them I owe them one year for the training  I will be receiving in the aircraft. I find myself a little torn thinking can I make this work for year. Robby has been in Korea for about a month Shirley is a sophomore at GSU in the nursing program and Ellie is in Savannah with Marie. I thought that this would be easy but I'm finding it a little more difficult than I originally anticipated. Again as soon as I fly my first hour I will owe the company $5000 a flight hour. Part of me tonight is doing a lot of soul-searching trying to decide if I really think I can make this work. The money is really good but living in an RV not so much, living away from Marie and Elli even more so not so much. I spent the last six months or so sending out resumes to just about every aviation program within a 3 Hour Drive of Savannah. Unfortunately, there are not a lot of aviation programs within that geographical footprint. The more I learned about EMS flying the more excited I got. I spent 25 years flying Army helicopters both lift and attack. I started flying the Apache in 1998 and for the most part I have really enjoyed it, flying the Apache in combat is probably one of the most selfless things I will ever do, I know that there are soldiers in the army that are still alive because of what we do in the Apache. So part of me really likes the idea of eventually being hired on as an EMS pilot where I know I will save lives. It's all about the timing,  again if I start flying the Apache tomorrow I will be here at Fort Rucker living in this RV for at least one year.